I Heard Him Say I

Mudhouse lyrics here. Live video here. Bible reference here and here.

This song instantly became my favorite song off the album. It is very simply about the dangers of premarital sex. However it is really something more. It doesn't just say "Don't do it" or "Wait until marriage." The song really delves into the human component. The emotions represented in Erik are everything I felt.

When I heard this song I was 19 and a sophomore in college. I can't remember if I had even had a girlfriend by this time. I thought this song gave a good message, but would never really apply to me. That all changed after graduation. I found the girl I was going to marry. She still had a few years of college left and I was living 2 hours away working at my first "real" job. The morning after one romantic summer night, I was all of a sudden living out this song. Each line was my experience.

She went off for fall semester and I was still working, but she kept telling me she felt sick. She took a pregnancy test and it was immediately positive. She went to the doctor and I got a phone call: "I heard the heartbeat." Instantly I knew that I could not escape. My house was built on shifting sand...mud. I knew the word of the Lord, yet didn't put it into practice. I knew what was right and still disobeyed. And it caused someone I love to drop out of school.

About 3 weeks later, we got married. 6 months after that, we had our first child. 14 months after that we had our second! So, within 2 1/2 years of even knowing each other, we were married with 2 kids and only 24 years old. This is not something I recommend to everyone. Those first few years were a little rough, but it's good that we were young. We didn't know that it was supposed to be a lot tougher than it was. We just went with the flow. Yes, there were plenty of tears and why-me's and how do I deal with 2 screaming kids while you're at work....but also my wife persevered and finished college online. I was very proud.

We're doing great 8 years later. We have a happy home and I wouldn't change a thing. How can you imagine living without your kids?

But this isn't about me, it's about the song! There were many times, before I knew the final outcome, that I prayed and said "I wish I would have waited." And Jeremy singing that over and over again with his emotion just gets me every time. It's a mini-sermonette about not wanting to live with regret. It's a warning, but it's just reality. And I never thought it could happen to me